October used to be my favorite month...

Fall.
I LOVE Fall!
I love the cooler weather, the harvesting of all the work we've done over the summer in our garden, the fall treats... like everything pumpkin(pie, muffins, breads, butter, the list goes on and on...) and warm comforting drinks...
I can not tell you how much I enjoy watching the leaves change. It is, to me, the world reminding us that everything continually changes, and although we might have been enjoying the the phase we were in, we shouldn't mourn it's passing too much, because the next one has endless possibilities full of wonder, beauty, and joy as well!

When my husband and I got engaged, I knew right away that the wedding should be in October. October 16th was the date to be exact, the perfect time for a beautiful Fall wedding. The leaves are usually in their peak of brightness and variety of colors. The weather is cool, but often nice enough to have an outdoor ceremony. We booked a location within a local park with lots of trees, a good open area for the ceremony, and a farmhouse with a kitchen in the basement and a huge dance floor on the main floor. We never made it to our wedding, although we(my daughter, Al, and I) did go there that day and have our own little party to celebrate, because we eloped instead. We ran off to Las Vegas and got married on Leap Day 2004. I will never regret that decision for many reasons, but mostly because I am married to the love of my life and we have proven to ourselves that our life will be full of passion and sometimes somewhat rash but usually good decisions... but I do think about it still around this time of year. I will also never regret that we didn't get married in October because now it is the BUSIEST month in our whole year!
When we were pregnant with our first child her due date was actually October 14th the next year. She is a stubborn little thing (since birth) and waited until the 29th to join our family, just three days shy of her father's birthday on the first of November. Yes, she was actually 15 days late! She arrived on the very last day she could without having to be born in a hospital (you usually can't deliver at the birth center after 14 days postdates, but they gave me over the weekend because they knew how badly I didn't want to be in the hospital... and she came late that Saturday night). Our second child together had a due date of October 2nd or 3rd(how terrible that I don't actually remember!). He is much easier going by nature (since birth as well) and only decided to make us wait until the 12th. Apparently, January is a good(or bad depending on your perspective) month for fertility! I say this not only because we have two children in October, but because we also have my Aunt's birthday on the 8th, my grandmother on the 17th, my sister on the 22nd, a good friend on the 25th, and my husband on the first of November... ok not technically October by REALLY close... close enough to make this the absolute busiest birthday month of the year!!
So, when I stop and think about it, I realize that it is true that everything happens for a reason although you might not understand it at the time... if we had our anniversary in October it would get completely lost in the holiday madness that is my October now (because let's not forget Halloween right in between Sophia and Al, which requires ridiculous amounts of work and planning, if I am ever going to manage costume making into this incredibly hectic month!)!!

So, I still enjoy October, Fall, and all the things that are brought to mind during this time of year.. but now I enjoy them a little more in November... after Al's birthday and before Thanksgiving, when I have a little more time to actually relax and ponder them!

And on a personal note, I am doing much better than the last time that I posted. I am feeling much less morning sickness, thank goodness! I am also feeling as though I can enjoy my pregnancy a bit more and not feel quite as much worry, now that I am solidly into my second trimester. I still have days when I think about what may have been, but truthfully, I am so busy that I don't have much time to dwell right now. I am feeling pretty much at peace with what has happened and just feel grateful to be where I am now.

Today was my son's second birthday. It was hectic and crazy, but in a good way. We had a great day and he felt like a king for the day. Everywhere we went, he told everyone he could, that it was his birthday and being the handsome and fairly charming little man that he is, people were pretty kind and gracious with him and his somewhat overly enthusiastic announcements that "IT'S MY BIRTHDAY.... I TWO.... I TWO ON MY BIRTHDAY!!"
We all went to see the Toy Story double feature in 3D... fun, but a SERIOUS commitment to watching movies! I don't feel the need to be in a theater for a long time at this point! He slept on me for the last 45 minutes or so of the second film (which I loved because he is still my baby!)
He got the dinner of his choice: Hamburgers, Tater tots, and Homemade Mac and Cheese, with Pumpkin Pie for dessert. He got to blow out his birthday wish candle and did it all by himself this year. He got to open presents and only got a little help from his bigger sister! ; ) I think he went to bed a very tired, but completely satisfied little boy! And of course that is all I want for him on any given day, so I say Mission Complete! : )

I have received two awards since my last post and as always appreciate them ... so thank you! I have good intentions of responding to them appropriately, but have been a little overwhelmed with present making, in combination with a spider costume I am trying to pull out of my brain consisting of coat hangers, fluff, black fabric, and a turtleneck... I might have more on that later if I can pull it off. I am making it up as I go.. so I'm hoping I can, since I have a very determined (almost) 4 year old expecting her mama to pull through for her... wish me luck on that! We also have a party for the both of the kids this Saturday, which is also spider themed and we have been making all different kinds of decorations and such.. also hoping to post about them... before they are obsolete... but I am only posting tonight because I am having a hard time coming down from a busy day and am up much later than is probably wise for my sanity tomorrow!! : )

and on that note....my dear good friends... thank you for your patience in my posting. I hope to have more in the near future... but I guess we'll see just how manic I get! ; )

Today I am thankful that I have been blessed with the sweetest, most beautiful boy I know. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!
I am grateful for the fall weather and changes it is bringing.
I am grateful that I have a house so full of love that it can sometimes overwhelm me... but usually in a good way! ; )

Ch-Ch-CH-Changes

Well it is nap time and my children are both actually sleeping!! Wow! I actually have a few moments of time to myself.... hard to believe!

I'm not sure if it is the season or the things going on in my life, but I have been feeling very nostalgic lately. The only constant is change. I hate change. I try not to, but I just don't enjoy it much. I like to have a rough idea of how my day is going to go... and I think that carries over into my life in general. Of course, that doesn't change the way that life is, so during times of change I have to make a concerted effort to go with the flow instead of fighting it the whole way. I'd like to say that I am getting better at it as I grow older and wiser, but I think that the opposite is true. I get nervous and fret a bit whenever something I am comfortable with needs to change. I understand that change comes from growth and that it is a necessary part of life... I just don't translate what I know, into how I feel, quite as well as I'd like to!

We have quite a few changes going on around our house right now...

Emily started school yesterday. HIGH SCHOOL!!! I was a nervous wreck all day yesterday. I know that she is ready, but I can't help but put myself in her place. As old as she thinks I am, it still feels like yesterday to me when I stop and bring up all the memories, both good and bad, from that time in my life. I got up early and drove her downtown(she will be riding the bus most mornings) to go to her first day of high school, but I forgot to take her picture! It was too early and truthfully, I was just trying not to throw up on the poor child(my morning sickness is still going strong!), but I did get a shot of her once she got home.

I think that proves to me that she is a big girl and is going to be just fine! : ) She said that things were a bit confusing, her school teaches in a different way than most. It's different than the way I went to high school, too. They have block academics in the mornings (so they have 80 minute classes, every other day to fit them all in) and then their major (hers is musical theater) in the afternoons. They have a long day. She starts at 7:40 and doesn't get out until 3:40. But it seems like she feels pretty comfortable and she is excited to get to focus so much energy on her passion.

I am glad that she is enjoying school, or is excited about the prospects anyway. I always have a week or two adjustment period to her not being around. I get really used to her being here most of the time during the summer. At times it can almost be a little too much, because whenever there is a moment when the little ones are occupied (or napping) then she wants to be with me even more, to get that one on one time. In the beginning of the summer it makes me a little crazy, but by the time she goes back to school I am used to my shadow, so when she is gone again... things just feel a little empty around here. I have to be honest though, I am thoroughly enjoying the fact that I am here at the computer and when I try to move I don't bump into her! I of course have my own changes going on right now, so it is especially welcome to have a little time to my own thoughts right now.

Every time that I have been pregnant I find it a little more difficult to perform my daily duties. It isn't just that I feel truly awful 90% of the time right now, although I do. It is what is going on in my head. I become so completely intrinsically focused when I am carrying a child. I know that it is a biological part of the process. It is important to pay attention to so many things, and the crazy hormone changes and the whole growing an entire human being thing... well they take time. They take time, and energy, and focus. They take a lot of things that I don't "have time" for on a daily basis. But it doesn't matter if I have the "time" or not because a baby has a way of making you take the time! I guess it is mother nature's way of getting the family ready for a new person to join the family, but it is something that I have a hard time with. I rarely get time to myself anyway, and now I feel like I should be spending as much quality time with my current family as I can, while I have the "time".

Ha! TIME is the key word of the day! It is such a powerful idea, time. There always enough if you make it, but there is never enough to do everything you want to do.

I was finally able to get a hold of my sister. She made the time(hee hee... sorry) to finally call me back... but only after I relentlessly harassed her answering machine AND her husband. I started calling his cell phone when I knew they were together as a family, because I had been trying to get to talk with her for over 3 weeks! She took the news very well. She got quiet for a minute and then promptly said congratulations and VERY promptly changed the subject! : ) I haven't spoken with her since... and I don't imagine that I will for awhile. But I am OK with that because I know she has her own stuff to deal with. I also have told my father, whose reaction was to ask if my sister knew and how she reacted to the news. I had waited until I HAD told her for this reason... and he's not a great secret keeper either so I didn't want it coming from him.... but he seemed pleased enough for us.

I have my first appointment with the midwives on the 14th. I can't wait to go! I am hoping to hear the heartbeat and I have completely convinced myself that it is twins... even though there is no history and I realize how unlikely it would be... and I am looking forward to being told that I am crazy and my uterus is the appropriate size for just one little nugget! I also look forward to getting a little comfort from being "seen". I forget every time, but I always remember when I am stuck in the middle of it... how unsettling the early part of pregnancy is for me. I am not a huge worrier in general, in fact, I tend to be a little overly optimistic. But in these early weeks there is so much that can go wrong, and there is very little reassurance that everything is going alright. I enjoy things much more during the second and third trimester, when you can feel your little one moving around and you have passed into the magic number of months where miscarriage is much more unlikely. I know that things still happen, but there is something to be said for being able to feel the small human growing inside of you! : )

Well, as I finished typing the last sentence I hear the calls of some bigger, little humans awaking upstairs! I hope that you all are well, and enjoying the last days of warmth (for us east coasters) while they are here! Much too soon the leaves will begin to fall and the evenings are already coming earlier... because the seasons like our lives are always changing! : )

and just because I haven't put any up in awhile...

Sophia at one of our local parks.

Roscoe giving me that charming smile! : )

Today I am thankful that all my family knows of our new addition, and is happy for us.
I am thankful that this wretched morning sickness at least makes me feel like I know that my body is doing what it needs to do to keep this baby healthy.
I am grateful to have only a little over a week before I will (hopefully) hear the heartbeat of our baby.
I am thankful that I live so close to so many beautiful trees that remind me how natural change really is!! : )

Leaf Windows

I know that I missed coming on Thanksgiving and being thankful... but I was and it was a great day with the family, so I didn't have time to come on here! I figured there were others holding up the thankfulness torch on that day!! : )

Thanksgiving was just a few days ago and now it is Christmas time everywhere!
I feel the pull and excitement of it more this year than I have in awhile... Sophia is at an awesome age, she is old enough to believe in the magic of it, and seeing that in her makes me feel happy and young and magical again myself.


SOOO... before I start getting into winter time activities and crafts, I have to show you the fun project we did with leaves.


We love going for walks in the park and playing at some of the wonderful parks here in the 'Burgh. I'm not from here, so I think that I appreciate the beauty of Pittsburgh more than some people who have always lived here. The desert is beautiful in a completely different way. But. I love the leaves changing and feel so lucky to live in a place where the kids get to see the change in the seasons.
I LOVE FALL!!


While we were going on walks together, we would pick up leaves that we thought were pretty. I would bring them home and put them in big books to dry out. I ended up with a good amount of leaves from different kinds of tress in all different colors. I put some up around the house in doorways, and the kids made "Leaf Windows".




Now, the truth of the matter is that this craft takes way more work for you than your kiddo... but it is super cute and the older they get, the more they will do... but I think it is worth it because they are awesome keepsakes! I love it when I get out Emily's old daycare stuff... it's funny actually because I've noticed that it's as much work to do it at home for two kids as for 15 at pre-school.. the extra supplies you need don't take that much more time it's the preparation you need that takes the time! : )
anyway, if you want a fun fall idea:


How to make a Leaf Window

what you need:

a bunch of dried leaves

non- toxic glue

a wet wipe-up rag( to catch any random messes,

we use cloth diapers)

see-through plastic

{ I used the bags from our diapers... I save everything, maybe to a fault...

and am always trying to use things as much as possible.

I was going to use saran wrap until I thought of these,
but think it would have been hard with Roscoe because it is so thin.}

1. Ok the first thing you do is cut two peices of equal plastic, for each window. I cut the half of a bag(from the diapers we use) into two peices(that way it was already pre-matched).

2. Then you get your table together with your supplies, a wipe-up rag, and wrangle your kids into seated positions!

3. Next , it is time to let the kids pick their leaves. I put some glue all over the plastic so they could just push the leaves onto it. This was Roscoe's first experience with glue.. and he did great!! Sophia did a good job too, they made me really proud! They had fun and so did I!

You can see that at the end Roscoe decided he didn't like the glue... but that is what the rag was for so no biggie!

The time the kids took doing this was about 5 minutes -tops! Then it took me a couple of nights to make the frames. I made them from old cereal boxes(see -crazy keeps everything lady!!). Just cut strips from the boxes and glue the obnoxious sides together and you get a nice brown(fallish even!) colored frame. Then hang them in the window. When the light comes through them they look really pretty!



I think I'd like to add some more color to the frames... with their names and also let them color around the frame... but I wanted them up before I wanted to put up snowmen...so up they went!

I am thankful for fun!
I am thankful that my kids will actually sit and do "centers" at the house.
I am thankful for my adorable children!
I am thankful to be home and able to spend an entire day playing with my kids, because they rock!

raking leaves

Today is usually my friday. My husband has Mondays and Tuesdays off. But because of Thursday being Thanksgiving, he is working tomorrow.
That is a drag.
BUT he is working tomorrow because he has Thanksgiving OFF, so it will be ok.
A lot of people have to work on the holidays and I'm glad that we get to be together as a family! I worked on all the holidays, in a different life, way back when I was pregnant with my oldest, Emily...and ever since I have always remembered to be grateful for the opportunity to celebrate with family.

I love my family. I feel like the luckiest woman in the world when I look at what I have, as far as cool people in my life. The truth is our life is hard, and I wouldn't mind if things were a little easier... because well who wouldn't. But we have love in this house. We all have our moments, being human and all, but we do alright for one another.


Today I participated in the ritual of leaf raking. It is a funny thing what a few hours of raking leaves can do for your state of mind. For me it is a rare opportunity to be with myself and my own thoughts. Its good exercise and it makes me feel good every year at this time.



We have a huge over one hundred year old tree in our yard.
It is incrediby large.
I have a love/hate relationship with this tree.
I love our tree because it gives us amazing shade during the summer and our house is so very much cooler than the last place we lived... by almost 20 degrees during the sticky parts...and that's big!! Especially because I was pregnant in the summer.... yikes!

I hate the tree a little because of the birds and squirrels that take refuge in it, are a pain.

I love our tree because it has been here for over a hundred years and that's a long time in the city.

And I hate the tree because I am a gardener and we live in the city on a small ass plot (that we rent) and the top of this thing is crazy big... this house hasn't been taken care as well as it could.. we are doing our best but it's not ours and we could be putting hundreds and thousands into this place.. but it won't be ours when we're done... and that matters...

anyway we cut a lot of the tree down but too late in to the growing season because this year was our first year having a garden here... so we are learning. This house is surrounded by trees and the last had fun sun from every direction all the time(hence the crazy hot summers!) So I didn't have as much produce as I would have liked.. but I think it will be better next year... especially with the fantastic compost we will have come spring!! : )

the leaves from the tree provided shelter for some herbs that I hadn't harvested yet... so I got to play with smelly plants today too, which is a total score! I lost a few herbs that weren't close to the ground, but saved some thyme, oregano, and marjoram which are three of my super favorites... so that's awesome! good job tree! thank you for shedding your leaves right before the snow came...or I would have lost everything!! : )





For some reason our tree reminds me of the book the Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. I love that book ...it still makes me cry when I read it to the kids .... it was one of my favorties when I was a kid.







Raking can seem like such a tedious and seemingly never-ending chore... so many leaves... but you know the number of leaves is not really infinite. It is a perfect metaphor for life really.... just keep plugging away... you'll get there eventually.. might not be as quick or even exactly what you were expecting.. but funny thing is .. it just keeps on happening. Life is all about the moment.. a bunch of little moments everyday. I just try to make more moments ones that I want to have again, than the ones I could do without...perspective is the key.

It is satisfying when you get that huge pile o' leaves too! I'm hoping it will dry out a bit and the kids can go play with it for a bit because it is so much bigger than the are.... even together!

One thing that I didn't get done that I had wanted to do today was a super cute leaf project that I have been trying to do. Tomorrow for sure, so I'll post it soon.( seems like every other day or so I get a post in)

Roscoe and I did get to build today, though which was super fun.

He is becoming such a little ham truly..he is so darn cute I can't stand it! He is our last as far as we think right now... so being my third I feel like I am constantly looking at him and thinking "aw... I'll never have another crawling baby now..." I love that he still makes noises and doesn't talk much because it's so sweet.
I love, encourage, and enjoy his accomplishments but I'm not in a hurry to send him into toddlerhood ....and tomorrow girlfriends and for the love of Pete DRIVING!... at least it seemed to go that fast with Emily. Often I wonder what the hell I was thinking starting over again with a 10 year old already... but then I remind myself that everyone is better off for it. Emily is allowed to grow up because I don't have time to be neurotic about her NOT being a baby anymore.... and the little ones get my extra patience(sometimes) because I realize that their times as young kids is fleeting. It throws a good helping of perspective into the mix having a teenager, pre-schooler, and a toddler under one roof!

Today I am thankful for Fall.
I am thankful for the exercise and my time to myself today.
I am thankful to have such a cute and loving family.
I am thankful that we all get to be together Thursday for one of my favorite holidays, Thanksgiving!