So an amazing thing happened last night, after the whirlwind in my manic 2 in the morning head finally made it out onto the screen...
I woke up this morning feeling SO. MUCH.BETTER!!!
I can't even tell you how much better I feel.
Maybe it is because, physically I feel better than I yet have.
Most certainly it feels good to know that my bump is something pretty common, and not that something went wrong.
Maybe it's because I finally actually like my haircut(thank goodness or I was going to be a cue ball!)
Maybe it is because everyone else is out of my house(except for the little ones) and today is the first day that I get to get things started back to "normal" around here.
Maybe it is because I went grocery shopping yesterday by myself and although it was uncomfortable.. it was totally do-able.
Maybe it is the 247 smiles and hugs I have gotten from the sweetest cutest little boy I know(I know I'm biased)... he's missed his mama!!
A few fun and positive things that I neglected to mention in my vomit post yesterday.
The hospital that I stayed was awesome.
The nurses were competent AND kind. I felt very well cared for there.
I made my husband and my eldest awards about a week in(actually the same day that me & the hubby fought- before we fought..but he hadn't noticed yet...) thanking them for doing such a great job taking on extra responsibility... and they are pretty darn cute! and well appreciated(once noticed : P )
We had a great time dying eggs this year, while we attained a few new stains on our beat up coffee table(the stuff soaked through 5 layers of newspaper...) and on the hands of the little ones for days... but we laughed a lot... and that of course is the best medicine!
My post last night was necessary.. I had a lot of frustration built up over a two week period.. but releasing last night helped me feel like I turned a corner in this thing.
I LOVE MY BLOG!!!
I am feeling stronger and looking forward to getting stronger and stronger as the days pass.
I did a lot of visualizing while stuck in bed. I toned and visualized beautiful white light emanating from all the incisions until the room was filled with twisting beautiful rays of healing energy. I think it helped A LOT!! It probably didn't hurt that I was off my rocker on pain meds.. because if I could have taken a picture of what I could see it was amazing and one of the most beautiful visualizations I have done in a good amount of time.
The time that I spent alone(which was a lot) to try and rest and heal was a good time to think about where I am and where I want to be.
I have some new ideas of how to proactively better my life, and therefor the lives of my family... and all of these are great things!
I read 4 books. I honestly haven't read that many books in the last year... I usually don't feel like I have the time.. but one of the many lessons I am taking from this experience is that I need to carve out a little more time for myself. it will surely benefit everyone.
A happier mama will trickle down to a happier family.
I am looking into getting into a yoga class for myself. I won't be able to do it for a little while, but as of yesterday I am doing a short mellow(oh so mellow) practice every morning and every night. if I can keep this up..I KNOW that I will be more content on so many levels. I have already asked the MIL is she could come over once a week and hang with the munchkins so I can have a few hours to go to a class. All I had to do was ask...I should do it more often! (another lesson learned through this process... no one is an island. not even a control freak Mama!!) : )
Things are looking up for sure!
so thanks for letting me vent... and here's hoping that this optimism sticks around!
If I had been blogging over the last two weeks you would have been able to chart how up and down I have been.. but today is the first day I woke up feeling like... ok, here we go..let's make it a great day. that is much more my normal mental state... and I've missed it!
I'm ready for it to be easier to maintain... and if this morning is any indication... WooHoo!
make it a great day everyone!
Today I am thankful that I feel more content today.
I am thankful for my body's ability to heal(albeit slower than I'd like..it's still working pretty darn hard for me!!)
I am grateful that I feel such a sense of release from letting out all the hard things I didn't want to be feeling.... yay for letting go!