So it has been 4 days since I left you all hanging, right at the good part of "my big decision"...
and I am sorry for the delay.. but in the last 4 days, a lot has been happening at our house.
there was a mass exodus of bodily fluids exiting my two younger children, from just about every orifice... which as most of you mamas know... is not only pretty darn gross, but also incredibly time consuming...
Emily has had a slew of things going on, but they deserve their own time because what happened tonight trumps everything else for right now...
***right now***
my mind is racing... I am so spent... we just spent three and a half hours in the ER with our kids. Sophia was playing under the high chair and knocked into the recycle bag.. there was a torn up can in there because our STUPID F-ING CAN OPENER DOESN'T WORK RIGHT ... and within one minute Al(who thank goodness, had just walked in the door with groceries) picks up Roscoe and goes...oh my god... blood everywhere.... on the chair... on the floor... running down his hand... he nearly cut the top off of his ring finger on his right hand...
well after looking at it, I actually felt like I was going to throw-up... I am usually the uber calm one..
chanting continuously "everything is alright...let's call the doctor or .... let's get ready to go to the hospital, but it's going to be ok"... and so forth... well tonight..I couldn't...and I have to say that my shock and uncoolness made Al step up and take control..and he did well...
After over two hours in the hospital, I ended up having to take Sophia out in the car and drive to get her dinner
(ours was at home burning in the stove, because when we left I didn't think to turn off the stove.. it was literally like charcoal when we got home...the house smells awesome.still.rock.on!)
and try to explain why we couldn't go home and go to bed....
reason being: Al had to hold Roscoe in the front seat, for his very first ride without a car seat, to the hospital because he had to hold the finger because it was bleeding copiously... and we were afraid of what might happen if he was in his seat... so I had to go and Emily is in London...so I had to bring Sophia... and I had to be able to pick them up..and if I took her home and put her to bed I'd have to wake her up...put her back in the car...not worth it...
he ended up leaving with 5 little stitches in his tiny finger... and Al had to hold him down while they did it because he TRIPPED OUT!! I had to go because he wasn't allowed to nurse and he wanted to very badly so seeing me just made him sadder... Al's a cook and has cut himself so many times it wasn't as bad to him...bad but not woozy, black out bad...
needless to say the evening sucked.
and to top it off my husband lost his shit tonight when we got home and yelled at me in front of our kids... and I know that he was stressed... I was too.. but what he did was wrong...and I had to explain to my kids and eventually tell Sophia...Look, I don't want to talk about Daddy anymore for right now... do you know how much that sucks...
this is too raw... and open... it's too much!
my heart is hurting right now...
I'm sorry I guess the story is going to have to wait for now... because I can't focus on anything else right now...
I write, like I think, and I can't write about something I'm not feeling or thinking about... it just doesn't work.
Today I am thankful that my little boy is going to heal fully and be just fine, soon.
I am thankful that my husband was able to pull through at the hospital and do what needed done.
I am thankful that tomorrow is a new day, because I need a reset button right about now.
Passing The Baton
10 months ago
5 comments:
Wow...I'm not sure if I could do stitches! Luckily, neither of my girls have tested that...yet! And men suck...it's just part of being a woman. They have their days when they just...suck...period. That being said, I'm not sure how I would handle it if my hubby lost it in front of the kids either. Just take a breather. Life is one breath at a time. No matter how hectic it gets sometimes, it's still just one...breath...at...a...time. You can control it. Slow it down and get YOUR bearings...'cuz you're Mama and sometimes that just what you have to do. Peace with ya and a big hug too!
Oh wow - Don't we all need a reset button every now and then? :) So glad the little one is ok - I know how traumatic it was just getting blood drawn from my little one, I can't imagine stitches! Hope you have a nice, quiet, calm week! (I think you've earned it!!)
I think men really go through their own brand of PMS, it really stings though. My Hubby will do the same thing, & if it's around the kids it only hurts that much more. I'm sorry, & I hope things have settled down. When my daughter had to have her tongue clipped, she was 1, I couldn't be in the room.It was to hard to watch. Sending hugs to you & your baby :)
My little guy had to get stitches on his forehead when he was about 13 months. He had a very good vocabulary -too good. Unfortunately he had picked up the "F" word at day care (I was working at the time). My boss (who is a very close family friend) and I took him to the drs, I couldn't stay in the room for the procedure, but Steve did. They strapped him down on one of those board things and Steve held his head. Tears streamed down my face as I heard my little guy begging, "no, stop please, stop please, please no.." and then it began... a string of "F you, F you..." like a machine gun coming forth from my little guy's mouth. I could have died!! Quickly I entered the room, tears gone, embarrassment in full control. The doctor's reaction is a whole other story, but... he survived, I did as well, and it was what I assumed was the first of many stitches for my active little boy. Luckily, the "f" bomb went away as well... hang in there. Sorry for the stress life has brought to you, go have one of those wonderful bath experiences you love so much!
Oh my gosh..I've had days like that. almost exactly like that. Stitches, hospital, babies crying, late night, burnt dinners. I'm so sorry you had such a terrible evening! It will get better. Time for some you time to let go a bit is an order. Hugs!
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